Bisexual teen faced psychological prison, told not to tell anyone or else ..............

A seventeen year old teenager from St Andrew is the latest reported case of family ostracism that has come to my attention as more LGBT youth and adolescents find themselves on the frontline alone sometimes due to sheer ignorance by parents and urged by said elders siblings also participate willingly in making outcasts of their blood relatives. The young man who made contact with me via Facebook outlined his frustration in settling after the lengthy ordeal for some two and half years where he finally was told by his father to leave the only home he has known for all his life; although he has a neighbourhood female friend and of course other social ones as well his father according to the teen’s subsequent hand written report that I asked him to produce from which permission was granted to prepare this post outlining the details (less names of course) suspected he was gay and would occasionally make snide remarks.

The teen said at one point he responded to his father that if he did not see that he had a girlfriend and that she came by the house at times to which the elder would dismiss with a hmph and words to the effect “ ..... girlfriend nuh?” or girlfriend eh? Unbeknownst to the teen his immediate brother was actually set to monitor the youth’s movements and literally report to their father what he was about, so after school shenanigans or conversations and so on were watched and passed on, in one of the heated arguments the ostracised teen was surprised to learn that his father knew of a fight he was in at a bus stop one afternoon with another boy which surfaced in the cross talk several months after the fact which led him to suspect he was being informed on. While the young man’s mother was slightly more tolerant in a sense she too would warn him that if he was “battyman” he had to leave the house as she did not want that kind of nastiness around her.

Things came to a head however in September of 2013 when a male student who the teen was friendly with had met the ostracised teen first online then face to face and have been seeing each other for some time mostly away from the reporting brother but apparently other eyes were at work and word somehow got back to the brother, the teen had tried not to make this contact known to his younger informer sibling but the secret could not have been kept for long, the other party was said to be girly in a way and their meeting at a burger king store was told the father of the boy who confronted him of this other “battyboi” The ostracised teen’s neatness, order in his room and so called “prim and proper” ways were also made mention in the confrontation session where chastised the teen for being too “clean” implying that it is not a masculine trait for men to be so neat, the exchange grew in intensity according to the written report and a physical tussle ensued where the teen said he had to defend himself as his father lunged towards him with a frying pan to which he responded with the nearest thing he could find a large Jergens lotion bottle which he threw in retaliation, the matter continued where homo-negative curse words and warnings that if it was found out he was gay he would have to leave the house or change his ways in order to stay. Such are some the circumstances I have seen over the years which is sad for our young LGBTQ teens who have to exist under pain of some punishment be they psychological or physical abuse if not for some evidential reparative change.

Fast forward to March of this year where the straw that broke the camel’s back came in a fight between the teen and his prying brother to whom cordial relations had deteriorated in his bid to please his father while pressuring his bigger brother, the fight landed the ostracised teen facing an ultimatum among other things contained in the written report; since then he had reached out to other Facebook friends and so on prior to the forced eviction of sorts, he is able to return home at set times for clothing and so on in the absence of his father as his mother seems more sympathetic although she cannot speak to openly or outwardly. Such tense standoff can only last for a time and now he has found some community shelter assistance with an older influential thankfully and he has access to some finances from his mother who still gives the teen his pocket money not as often as before though when his father contributed to the amount.

This case is just one in a series of many that are sometimes hard to confirm but the reports are out there and the numbers of displaced youth climb all over the island, in my home parish of St Catherine there has been a spike in homo-negative cases and the numbers have gone up, just last month I was told of another matter where a male had to literally flee his home after some physical abuse, he is now with a friend for now; thank God for community shelter assistance I am all too aware of that informal avenue as my own shift way back in 1996 was interrupted and aided by such a phenomenon, good friends and caring people are hide to find but kindness matters out there despite the fallouts that can occur when such a helping hand is extended; my own drama in July of last year is picture proof where a young man I was offering assistance erred and I had to take strong action only after three days at my home and a strong sit down session explaining my expectations and house rules.

How else can the displaced youth be helped? When none state actors such as JFLAG, JAS do not want to directly addressed this longstanding matter yet they rejoice with a flowery promise by youth minister that homeless youth will be helped without questioning if the ministry will have as part of the response any reparative therapy interventions?

It has been clear for many years to some of us that corporatist typed NGOs who in public advocacy cry stigma and discrimination yet with all the clout they have simply refuse to do or implement the frontline response to homelessness. The Safe House Pilot 2009 is all the proof we need and the refusal way back in the day when the AIDS hospice became irrelevant given the changes in the cohort of infected persons’ suffering was greatly reduced as anti-retrovirals became more sophisticated hence persons living longer, it was repeatedly suggested by those in the know then that although the hospices were closing as they were also expensive to run; the displacement issues were also real then in the late nineties into 2000s yet all three spaces were subsequently closed; yet another easy way out was chosen instead of addressing the issue with some sort of residency response one of which was situated in the very area where the present homeless MSM/Transgender persons were at the shoemaker gully nearing the middle class Golden Triangle residency.

Is there really any interest in solving the homeless issues when everywhere else especially the US as of late under the President’s PEPFAR directive states are addressing their least populations. Something to think about.

also see:

Homeless MSM and rejection

Insensitive Parents and Displaced MSM Part III

Children’s Advocacy & LGBT Agencies inconsistent approach to Homeless MSM Youth

Kingston’s Homeless MSM challenges scream for proper attention

Outcomes when offering community based shelter for displaced gay/bi brethren

Youth Ministry to develop programmes to address LGBT youth, homeless, destitute and vulnerable children (2014)

Peace and tolerance

H

Youth Ministry official accused of homo-paedophile acts takes Minister, OCA & Public Services Commission to court

One Sydney Bartley the Permanent Secretary of the Ministry of Youth and Culture has filed an action in the Supreme Court claiming that accusations made against him sexually molesting a boy (age not given at this time) are not true and baseless and that the attempts to separate him from his post are improper, rumours have been swirling for months since late last year of late night in office romps with young males but no definitive proof has been brought to bear with even the Minister of Youth Lisa Hanna said to be resolute in not returning to the office until he had vacated same via taking early retirement leave, the Prime Minister is said to have been also briefed on the matter.

First respondent – Minister Lisa Hanna

Second respondent – Diane Gordon Harrison (Office of the Children’s Advocate)

Third respondent – Lois Parkes (Services Commission)

Questions were posed in parliament by Miss Hanna’s opposition counterpart Miss Olivia Babsy Grange a short time ago which seemed to be related to the impasse as she wanted to know the employment status of the PM, the Office of the Children’s Advocate alongside the police had raided the youth ministry on February 24, 2014 where several staff members were questioned as to the allegations, the OCA front woman Dianne Gordon Harrison at the time had said she was under a gag order and by law cannot speak to ongoing investigations. It has also come to light that the OCA has written to the Minstry(er) of Youth & Culture based on reports they were in hand of alleged inappropriate action by the persons named now known as the PS.

The questions from Miss Grange include:

1) To ascertain whether the permanent secretary is still in the Ministry’s employ?

2) If that PS had disciplinary action taken against him, if so what conduct or breach would have triggered such action?

3) Are the rumours circulating bearing any truth in them? (bearing in mind Miss Hanna had allegedly said the PS was on leave and all was well

4) Will the minister say if the PS was suspended due to matters in the remit of an agency of the MYC?

5) Will the minister say if he was suspended when did this take effect and for what period?

6) Given rise to the suspension or other means of separation when did this come to the Minister’s attention?

I understand the sensitive nature of that position as any hint or allegations of such nature can bring the entire thrust of the entity can be brought into disrepute, Miss Grange’s questions however though plausible seem more to confirm what is out there on the grapevine more so than unearth the truth but be that as it may this one has not gone away quietly as previous. When more powerful folks get into hot water like this we often do not see such cases going so far but it dies a quick death in as far as public scrutiny is concerned although very few media outlets are tracking it. Miss Hanna has not answered Miss Grange’s parliament floor inquiry.

Lisa Hanna has since responded to Mr Bartley’s concerns via an affidavit filed in the Supreme Court earlier this month, it includes the aforementioned letter sent to Miss Hanna by Miss Gordon Harrison on January 17 this year which considered Mr Sydney Bartley; Miss Harrison told the Minister “I wish to advise you as a matter of courtesy that the Office of the Children’s Advocate has received and recorded a complaint against the Permanent Secretary in your Ministry alleging sexual abuse of a male child” she continued that the OCA had arrived at no find whatsoever but found it appropriate that the investigations be brought to her attention, Minister Hanna responded the same day she told Miss Harrison that she found the contents of the letter disturbing on many levels and that she would move to have Bartley immediately dismissed, Miss Hanna in her affidavit also said the Prime Minister was briefed and that the PM directed Cabinet Secretary Ambassador Saunders to act in Mr Bartley’s place which became effective January 27th this year. A stamped affidavit was also filed at the Supreme Court as well by Chief Personnel Officer of the Services Commission Miss Lois Parkes where she indicated that she met Mr Bartley in the company of Cabinet Secretary Ambassador Saunders during that meeting Mr Saunders suggested that Mr Bartley be sent on immediate early retirement; that recommendation was made subsequently by the public services commission the Governor General Sir Patrick Allen. Miss Parkes told the court “The Governor General considered the recommendation and did not approve” in the meantime in his affidavit Mr Bartley says he is in the dark about allegations he abused a male child he said he was summoned by Lisa Hanna in October last year regarding what she described as strong rumours as several persons had communicated to her that he was having meetings late at night in his office and that she would not return to the New Kingston offices if he was present.

He went on to say that she has not given details as to illegal, immoral or improper conduct on his part he said Miss Hanna had earlier recommended that he take vacation leave while she carried out checks, he also claimed to have fallen ill, shortly after he was contacted by a news team about his going on leave and why. On October 31 another news team contacted Minister Hanna and asked her about the allegations and leave she terminated the call by saying “The Permanent Secretary is fine” as the Simpson Miller administration tries to separate themselves from him Mr Bartley also adds that he was aboard an American Airlines flight to Long Island when he was taken off the flight by immigration officers as a stop order would prevent him from travelling, he said he was scared and his mouth became dry immediately.

He said that he did not take any vacation since 2011 so he agreed to take leave providing he dealt with some matters still on his desk including the parliamentary issues to do with the appropriations committee to which he must do. He claimed in December that his two secretaries a Miss Peters and Miss White to which he was instructed to reassign the latter Miss White to the PS office which he found strange afterwards as she had a good track record while he thought the investigations were clear. Two hand delivered letters normally done by bearer was also red flags in his minds. Emails and other communications also had him concerned as the OCA were named and that the “report” discussion he should offer to go on early retirement (typed in bold underlined font) the fact that the minister wished him all the nest suggested that it was a done deal and that he should go this without getting a chance to seek legal advice etc.

The cabinet secretary proposed one of two things which he posited as “ideas” for a solution

1 Go on early retirement (taking vacation leave first then in the midst enable that application)

2 interdicted pending investigations

All this no definitive dates, times of the immoral or illegal acts of which he is accused.

What also came strange was on Tuesday January 21, 2014 the services commission rep Miss Parkes called and told Mr Bartley that he had to take vacation leave even while he indicated he would take such leave (via communiqué to senior staff) on January 27th. He took two days departmental leaves which commenced January 22, 2014 and one day sick leave January 24 which were approved.

In Miss Hanna’s affidavit she continued that the applicant/accused shared personal information with her in a meeting but given the trust reposed in the ministry he should take early leave to which he was entitled.

Let us bear in mind when it comes to allegations of improper touching or related accusations that there are two levels of investigations

1 The Office of the Children’s Advocate would be activated from which criminal charges can be brought if proof is found then disclosure is made to the accused afterwards they can prepare their defense.

Let us keep a close eye on this one folks as cases such as this only serve to reinforce sometimes the homo-paedophile justification for resisting gay rights or the decriminalization of buggery by the religious right movement and other non religious anti gay actors, one such religious anti gay voice recently posted her own questions via Facebook:

The tone of her stance is clear eh.

UPDATE March 11, 2014 - more of the affidavit and connected matters courtesy of Nationwide Radio.

Peace and tolerance

UPDATE March 12 Clovis cartoon in a kind of late follow up but the point is made:

UPDATE March 18.03.14 courtesy of RJR News:

There's a development concerning Permanent Secretary in the Ministry of Youth and Culture, Sydney Bartley.
RJR News has received word that Bartley has been reassigned to a senior post in the Ministry of Labour and Social Security.
It's understood that he will be based at the head office of the National Insurance Scheme (NIS).
Efforts to contact Cabinet Secretary, Ambassador Douglas Saunders, on Bartley's reassignment was unsuccessful.

News of his reassignment comes ahead of Youth and Culture Minister Lisa Hanna's response to questions in the House of Representatives on Tuesday afternoon.

Last month, the Opposition Spokesperson on Youth and Culture, Olivia ‘Babsy’ Grange, tabled questions in the House regarding whether Bartley is still acting in the post or disciplinary action has been taken against him.

Bartley, who was appointed in January last year to act as Permanent Secretary in the Ministry, has taken legal action to prevent the authorities from sending him on early retirement.

UPDATE March 18 television news coverage:

TVJ:

CVM TV:

H

Office of the Children's Advocate, OCA's Child Justice Guidelines recognises discrimination/sexual orientation but .................

DOWNLOAD the DOCUMENT: HERE

The Office of the children's advocate released to the public a document that took some time in the making by a special committee to include the People's National Party human rights lawyer Clyde Williams who also hosts Freshstart on Newstalk 93FM. Speaking on Cliff Hughes hosted Impact last evening he pointed out that the document  guidelines is the only one that takes into account sexual orientation discrimination that goes further than the charter of rights does or was supposed to do until the Lawyers' Christian Fellowship, LCF took care of business.

Definition of a child and more .

The non discrimination clause comes above but the Family Life section seems to omit the inclusion of said sexual orientation in as far as the adults who maybe raising those children, here the document says:

The family is the preferred environment for the care, upbringing and protection of children and this responsibility rests primarily with the parents; separation of children from parents, and by extension their siblings, should be a last resort. 

also of concern to me is above and the the Admissions, Registration, Movement and Transfer section where it says:

"(1) In every place where children are detained or on a correctional order a complete and secure record of the following information should be kept concerning each child received in such an institution:

(a) Information on the child’s identity;

(b) The fact of and reasons for commitment and the authority therefore;

(c) The date and time of admission into the facility;

(d) The date and time of transfer into or out of the facility, as the case may be

(e) The date and time of release from the facility

(f) Details of the notifications to parents and guardians on every admission, transfer or release of the child

in their care.

(g) Details of known physical and mental health problems, including substance abuse.

(h) All interventions made by a relevant authority in whose care the child has been.The details of these interventions are to be documented along with notes that make the continuity of care as least."

Given the present modus operandi and how state actors treat with children in state care I am not sure how the above plays out and worse yet suspected or profiled children who are gay are either ignored, exposed and or physically abused or set upon by adults involved as previous cases have proven. Whether there will be multi-state actors involved including LGBT ones is not clear and whether the child/victim will have to endure multi interviews in a case as the case file travels though the system, I understand that there will be specially trained police officers hopefully to be distributed over many precincts island-wide but will they have capacity for LGBT matters and recognition of LGBT especially transgender and intersex children and which professional will be tied into the mix such as a clinical sexologist or endocrinologist?

I am formulating an email questionnaire to the OCA to find out more on this as my concerns about displacements, forced evictions and subsequent homelessness of MSM mostly in particular is the background to me preparing this post. As I type there is a youngster sitting in my living room who was thrown out of his house by parents right in the middle of parenting and homelessness awareness month.

Overall the guidelines look perfect on paper but as we know in this country we have a major challenge with implementation as proven in times gone by, nice reports, guidelines and summaries but little action to initiate the stated actions.

Peace and tolerance

H

Today one of the Gleaner's headline rang like a bell here is the story firstly then my comment below that I placed on the Gleaner site which I hope they publish as the debate intensifies especially given last night's discussion on All Angles.

'We Have The Numbers' - Anti-Homosexuality Church Leaders Confident Enough Religious Jamaicans In Island To Prevent Change To Buggery Law

Nedburn Thaffe, Gleaner Writer wrote:

With some 2,050,771 Jamaicans claiming affiliation to a religion, it would appear the church community, which has been standing firm against gay-rights activists in recent days, might be able to put up a formidable defence against those seeking to have the Government repeal the country's buggery law.

Just recently, one prominent clergyman shouted from his pulpit that he was prepared to die to ensure that Jamaica does not succumb to pressure from gay rights activists.

The statement from the executive director of the Church of God in Jamaica, Reverend Lenworth Anglin, followed that of another pastor, Reverend Al Miller, who declared last week that "a group of concerned pastors and leaders" have stated their willingness to mobilise and resist any attempts to tamper with the country's Constitution as it relates to the buggery law.

"We certainly have the numbers," Anglin told The Gleaner yesterday.

Data from the latest Population and Housing Census appear to support Anglin's claim. They indicate that some 129,554 Jamaicans are affiliated with a Church of God denomination.

The Seventh-day Adventist Church alone accounts for some 322,228, making it the denomination with the highest affiliation in numbers in Jamaica.

The Rastafarian religion, which is well known for its intolerance of homosexuality, has an affiliation number of 29,026.

But as the gay community and the Church continue on what appears to be a collision course, yesterday one social commentator who refrained from saying the level of impact the who refrained from saying the level of impact the Church is likely to have in helping to prevent any repeal of the buggery law, stopped just short of saying that recent comments from some clergymen might help to fuel even greater hostility in the minds of Jamaicans towards the gay community.

"Language like 'persons willing to die for' and so on, in my view, is unnecessary language at this point," said Carol Narcisse, who stressed that her views didn't necessarily represent those of the Jamaica Civil Society Coalition (JCSC) of which she is the chairperson.

"This is a discussion that the country needs to have, and it is hoped that the Church will provide an honest, sober position in the public domain, recognising that there is already a tendency towards making this issue being the subject of violence and the subject of harm to Jamaicans who are homosexual."

Added Narcisse: "We live in a democracy where all views will contend; the Church is one group in the society and it has a legitimate voice in the national conversation. However, the Church is not a monolithic group, there are other views within the Church as well."

"We would hope that persons of faith, leaders in the Church community who hold other views and a different approach; an approach that's more promoting of tolerance, an approach that is more promoting of a national discussion about inclusion and the rights of consenting adults, that those voices will come forward and join in the discussion."

She said any discussion going forward must be "sensitive to the fact that we are talking about the lives of human beings."

"We can only hope that we can come through this discussion in a way that does not see greater violence, harm, intolerance and exclusion," Narcisse charged.

Head of the Jamaica Coalition for a Healthy Society Dr Wayne West agreed that "the Church has numbers" and could successfully argue against any repeal of the buggery law, so long as it pitches its argument correctly.

"When a country makes its laws, laws are framed within some sort of philosophy and I think that the Christian theistic world view is the best performing law. I think the Church can certainly argue that the Judeo-Christian world view is better than the secular world view," West said.

"I suppose the Church could certainly argue that a large number of people in Jamaica certainly hold that view."

Gay-rights activist Maurice Tomlinson is currently awaiting a ruling after going to the Constitutional Court to seek a declaration that Television Jamaica, CVM Television and the Public Broadcasting Corporation of Jamaica had breached his constitutional right to freedom of expression when they refused to air a paid advertisement promoting tolerance for homosexuals in Jamaica.

nedburn.thaffe@gleanerjm.com
CONTINUE HERE

My response:

Interesting the fear mongering premised on sheer ignorance the fundamental question is in the very numbers of bodies, how many men with same sex desire be they gay or innately bisexual are hiding within the church? a recent radio discussion involving some prominent theologians and church representatives on "straight spouses" with unsuspecting partners suggest that inside the very church LOCALLY from whose pulpits where these pastors shout from many men (including the some clergy) hide themselves to regularize their lives. And as for sexual abuse of female members and male too and power differentials that another matter altogether for another time.

Will they come out when the time is right and declare who they really are? but given ones inability to live ones truth with convenient homophobic rhetoric we are in for some interesting times ahead. It will boil down to who will stand out and up eventually and stop the deceptions on all sides for that matter and let good sense prevail. UNDERSTANDING is what is needed here.

Besides there are Christian and Rastafarian folks who are tolerant, maybe it is their time to also start speaking up to bring some sense into the mix. The change of the law or reading down of buggery as it now stands is NOT going to suddenly create some avalanche of "Buggerers" that will simply hit every biological born male wearing a pair of pants. What are these people afraid or?

As for Rev Al Miller he has no moral authority to speak on anything for that matter these days, lest we forget his ongoing trial in aiding and abetting a known fugitive to escape the law of the land!? Albeit to a foreign power a that and using a male same gender loving and transgender form of aesthetic expression (cross-dressing) as a form of disguise in carrying out the deception at that yet he comes out swinging against homosexuality, really?!

If this were elsewhere he would be considered a traitor or even charged for treason at that.

Religious intolerance needs to STOP it makes no sense, confusing same gender sex with abuse is one of the main drivers of this as the fear is some infestation or increase in abuse of prepubescent persons when laws already exist to protect them and besides decriminalizing buggery which is what is now postured by the LGBT lobby and not necessarily a full repeal will not take away rights and protections that already exist it will only allow same sex intimacy in a private setting to occur via the all important CONSENT. Paedophilia or any attraction to a prepubescent person or child is a diagnosable deviant sexual disorder, HOMOSEXUALITY however is NOT the same and is innate.

The gender or supposed orientation of the abuser is not important when it comes to sexual abuse, ABUSE IS ABUSE and the law and psycho social responses should go into effect, just yesterday on Newstalk 93FM's Freshstart with host Sharon Hay Webster a rep from the CDA highlighted the need also for forensic psychiatrists in the system to also probe the look of perpetrators as well to avoid repeat offending.

Maybe we can follow the route of the Irish and learn from the path they took where they not only repealed buggery, removed the two ages of consent for homosexual(21) and heterosexual anal sex(18) made it 18 across the board, made privacy a cornerstone for same sex persons but they also added a child defilement clause as an amendment so as to appease the fearmongerers there as well, chaos did not break out there, instead Ireland is stable as she can be.

Some of us are lesbian/gay/bi/transgender/bisexual and everything else in between, it takes all kinds to make the world go round. Yet what is even more disturbing to me is the missing zeal in the anti homosexual campaign we see when it comes to murdered children/adults, spiraling crime and the elderly (recent cases comes to mind), the kids in state lockups with adults not to mention the umpteen missing as well yet plus the homeless on the street yet millions are spent for full paged ads and other perks for pastors for huge salaries but the moral fiber for the real issues on the ground is if not missing is very low.

One wonders if the tactic employed now to rile up a crowd (burrowed in someway from the political directorate) is not to fill collection plates too in a time when the economy is slow as well, popularity seekers at the expense of a minority group, after all it seems to be the only issue that makes a church service hot these days as most of these leaders are empty vessels, when the same congregation are themselves seemingly numb to the other societal ills.

Peace and tolerance

H

Additional materials: Miss Narcisse who was quoted above also had spoken on the issue on a radio show excerpted here ..............

Gay activists on Minority rights

Western Jamaica Clergy want buggery law to remain

Also see a letter in the Gleaner today as well: Church Biased and my post on sister blog GLBTQJA Wordpress on: Church Stands Resolute Against Buggery Backers says Al Miller ………… Love March Movement Lacks Moral Compass says LGBT voice

The problem with the LGBT lobby I have however is that just when it should matter most we are divided and are lacking several pieces of the parts to make the campaigns and messages resonate including credibility on certain fronts. Mixing a secularist agenda into the scheme of the agitation has only sought to anger the religious movement even further something I warned about some time ago and now we have added layers to the debate that have sought only to cloud the issue and extend the debate unnecessarily so.

Hear my short commentary I made on that:

The theologian community have gone as far as to call the homosexual community "dutty" in the recently launched translated King James version to patois of the new testament: The use of Jamaican dialect to further stigmatise homosexuals in the new patois Bible

As I ended my 2012 year in review and given recent happenings with JFLAG shooting itself in the foot - Truth is the ultimate weapon in the war. The LGBT leadership is a reflection of the follower-ship and vice versa if we are to grow the missing vigilance and objective approaches need to be improved. Deception seems to be on all sides take this for example:Dr Wayne West’s continued intellectual dishonesty on fisting felching & chariot racing by homosexuals in Jamaica

Also see: Espeut, West says “Homophobia” was invented to abuse Christians as hate speech as they use the victim ploy here. We have a long way to go it seems barring a miracle and some good sense prevailing.

Tell Me Pastor: Struggling with homosexuality ..............

The Star News feature "Tell Me Pastor" carried this piece below and though I am not a psychologist the letter seems a little off to me but read and see what you make of it, on my other blogs I have long been suspicious of some of these letters too and their authenticity as sometimes they border on sensational. The young man here says he was sexually abused as a boy and that indeed is sad and shocking but what followed has been a rollercoaster ride it seems the pastor's rebuke however is disturbing to me. Read ...............

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you for your help. I am a male who has never had a happy moment in my life from I was 11. I was sexually abused by a good friend of my family from St Catherine. At that time, I did not understand that if anyone was caught in the act of homosexuality, he would be beaten to death. This happened in the late 1980s. I got to like it so I used to visit the man's house often. It went on for several years because I didn't know homosexuality was wrong. I was innocent to everything around me. This man has messed up my life because homosexuality still affects my life today.

Over the years, I have been with several other men and have also gone to different counsellors but the problem is still starring me in the face. I became a Christian in 1993 but I am still struggling with this situation. I have prayed and fasted for these homosexual feelings to go away, but it has not helped.

In 2001, I met a man. He treated me well and took me to rural Jamaica. He was loving and caring and we became lovers. He told me he had homosexual fantasies, then I decided to stop having sex with him and to change my lifestyle. I stopped calling him and texting him but he continued to text me with sweet words. I prayed to God for a change and was getting there, but because I am weak towards him, I fell back into the devil's track. Sometimes I wonder where is God in my situation. I never thought I would be so unhappy.

One night in the early 90s, at a big tent at a crusade, the preacher called me to the altar and told me someone has tied me down in a bottle. I want to go back to school and start my own business, but I cannot because of lack of funds.

One day I went to Emancipation Park to clear my mind and my phone rang. It was one of my lovers. He was in the presence of some girls. He was touching me up and had an erection. This man was also having sex with one of the girls. I am wondering where God is in my situation.

One day I went to his house and we got into a fight in his van and I dropped out. I have tried many times to break up with this man and we are still having sexual intercourse without condoms. We have done freaky things. His girlfriend doesn't believe we are doing these things. He is bisexual. I know I have done many bad things to him and I am asking him for his forgiveness. His girlfriend told me disgraceful things that I should do to her.

This man has helped me and is very kind to me. I asked him to give me $10,000 and he wants to know if I will pay him back in sex. I am still attending church but Ifeel condemned. Friends have turned their backs on me, but I want to thank God because He has never left me. I am 34 and cannot break free from this disease for more than 23 years now. I have had deep depression and suicidal thoughts. My own brother told me I am dunce and worthless. Please, help me.

R.B.

Pastor responds:

Dear R.B.,

I regret hearing that an adult male, who was a family friend, introduced homosexual practices to you. Unfortunately, you didn't report him and kept going to his house. As you grew up, you became a practising homosexual. That is why most psychologists say homosexuality is something learned. I do not mean to imply this is true in every case.

You felt your sexual partners treated you well and found it difficult to walk away from them. Even after you decided to change, it wasn't for long. You have written a detailed letter and have mentioned the names of individuals. As you can see, I have deleted many of the things that you have said. They are not publishable. Your motive is not just to seek help, but to expose certain individuals with whom you have had affairs.

You claim in the letter that you are a very jealous man. So while you give the impression that you are seeking help, you are really looking for revenge. You are still very much in love with a particular man whose name you have mentioned many times in your letter. I do believe you are carrying a heavy burden and believe in the nonsense that the preacher told you at the crusade meeting that someone has tied you down in a bottle.

I would like to suggest you make an appointment to see a Christian psychologist and ask him/her to help you. If you continue to believe hope is lost and someone, not you, are responsible for your behavior, you will never experience deliverance.

Yes, you were abused as a child. When you became an adult, you knew better and should not blame others for the wrong things you have done. You are responsible for your actions. Nobody has put you in a bottle. The preacher who told you that is wrong and has contributed to messing up your mind.

Pastor

ENDS

In my continued look at this for the pastor Aaron Dumas who is a psychologist and also hosts a program on Power 106fFM at nights to scold the man where he said "Yes, you were abused as a child. When you became an adult, you knew better and should not blame others for the wrong things you have done. You are responsible for your actions. Nobody has put you in a bottle. The preacher who told you that is wrong and has contributed to messing up your mind." I am baffled at this response if abuse was the origin of his struggle taking into account the power differentials that may have existed (going by the letter) between the youth at the time and this adult perpetrator then how in adult life the writer could simply come to some realization without any professional help mentioned in the piece? In power differentials the victim sometimes does not have the opportunity to say no or tell someone else especially a child (going by the letter) he may run into a backlash as other circumstances may have been present to block seeking that kind of redress. It takes years sometimes never for persons to come forward or get comfortable to even talk about the issues involved or to rehash the abuse. Now that he has come forward this is the response from Pastor Dumas? To simply indirectly dismiss the man and he is to supposed change or come to some realization by his own recognizance is unprofessional to me and smacks as a kind of dismissal of this case yet he had no qualms to suggest a christian psychologist imputing a reparative therapy course.

The need for more forensic psychiatry or psychology is clear here too as we must now begin to understand the perpetrator's profiles as well in a bid to address situations like this, we have seen and heard from the Child Development Agency, CDA express this concern as well. The training of staff as well to help children express where abuse may be present. 

Indeed inappropriate initiation is a problem overall but how to properly address these cases on the part of the victim is called into question here via this case especially when the professional handling such a matter is using a Judaeo Christian base given the Diagnostic Statistical Manuals course in categorizing deviant diagnosable behaviour. I am sorry I was not near this individual (if he is real) as I would have suggested a book by a Jamaican man who was abused as well and who documented his travel to recovery:

"The Cries of Men" tell the candid and true personal accounts of rape and sexual abuse from the voices of young Jamaican men."The Cries of Men" shares the candid and true personal account of rape and sexual abuse from the voices of young Jamaican men. By providing an in-depth look into their secret lives, author O'Brien Dennis demonstrates how one act of sexual violence can have a devastating effect on adult survivors.

"The Cries of Men" takes a virgin journey of homophobia in the realm of Jamaica's social fabric. Dennis reveals the powerful and intriguing stories of Jamaican male sexual abuse survivors, but also divulges unknown facts about Jamaican society- including the concept that homosexuality is an evil act, punishable by imprisonment of up to ten years of hard labor. Yet each week in Jamaica, there are over fifteen reported cases of sexual abuse of young men and boys, many more cases go unreported because men fear for their lives if they disclose the abuse. Dennis also provides a list of resources to assist in recovering from sexual abuse.