Father of gay son to religious groups: Focus on the real problem guys

In a letter to the Observer a self identified father of a non typical gay man penned the following letter, what caught my attention was the reference to one of the ridiculous causations of male homosexuality that is still used today by religious academics, anti gay groups, Christians Psychologists and theologians that an absentee father makes a boy want to be gay as he seeks to compensate for the loss through sex with men in some misplaced emotional lack.

The letter writer said:

Focus on the real problem 'guys'

Dear Editor,

I am father to a gay son. As an adult preparing to have children, I always dreaded the possibility that a child of mine might grow up to be gay. In my mind at the time, gay was the antithesis of "man", and I took solace in the belief that there was no way I could raise a sissy.

Despite overwhelming scientific evidence to the contrary, many anti-gay crusaders claim that absentee fathers and overbearing mothers contribute to gender dysphoria in children and could make them weak to homosexual temptations. You can imagine my dismay then when I realised that my last born, the second male child in the family, had an affinity for toys and activities that are stereotypically feminine.

I felt inadequate as a father, because I believed my parenting style was harming his psychological and sexual development. My son loved to read and he eventually became a teacher of literature and philosophy at a college in the United States where he now lives. He is no longer an embarrassment to me because he is the most talented, caring and responsible person I know. My son is an ambitious Jamaican, a gifted teacher and the most trustworthy friend to those who know him. There is nothing anti-man about him. I like to think our society would be better off and our homes would be more empowering spaces with men and fathers with his attributes.

Instead of condemning homosexuals who are growing tired of life in the shadows, let us focus our attention on the men who have actually destroyed our society: The "bad man dem" who count babies with "gyal ina bungle" as trophies, despite being unemployed; the "tugz dem" who rape our women and girls; the "shotta dem" who steal and murder "fi eat a food"; and the "don dem" who use violence to inspire obedience in inner-city residents and offer handouts from money got through extortion and narcotics trafficking to demand loyalty.

Many gay people have distinguished themselves in every field, because many of them understand they must work twice as hard as their heterosexual colleagues to avoid harassment and decrease their vulnerability to violence. Their sexuality is considered a handicap, so they compensate for it with excellence. Many have left our shores to contribute to the development of already affluent societies. Others remain in Jamaica donating their talents to a society that refuses to recognise their humanity.

Sherman Wallacesherman.p.wallace@gmail.com

ENDS

This same causation line was used at a recent anti gay seminar as hosted by Reverend Clinton Chisholm and guest Psychologist Dr Joan Pickney held in April of this year as they drew on old and rejected data from the US based anti gay group 

NARTH - National Association of Research and Therapy of Homosexuality even in the face of damning criticisms and legal action taken by some of their own research fellows who claim their work was misused by the agency to promote their anti gay and dangerous reparative solutions in their eyes. In that lecture they attributed lesbianism's causation as a missing father in the home making the individual wanting to act the role of a man and persons sat in the audience absorbing this self righteous crap.

We have seen the apparent closure and apology from its leader just days ago from the EX-Gay Ministries formerly known as Exodus as well in the United States where it has been seen anecdotally and otherwise that reparative therapy does not work in a supposed bid to repair or change homosexual orientation and even some leaders themselves have been found in compromising positions with other secretively while publicly promoting change is possible in homosexuals. The APA issued a position statement on the issue in 2000: GO HERE while many US states have now raised to the level of state law proscriptions to ban such practices, New Jersey being the latest in the line doing so just days ago. All this happening while our church groups and some psychosocial professionals go in the opposite directions playing on the ignorance of a glib following.

There are some attempts to continue aspects of the defunct Exodus Ministries as we see despite the APA's statement and the obvious failing of this practice of RT: 

Five Outcomes of the Exodus Ex-Gay Reboot

Here is a clip from the documentary for the Bible Tells Me So where a leading Psychologist warns of the dangers of reparative therapy:

Good that this father is enlightened to some extent, I too always had a father and mother present physically and emotionally for the most part and that never stopped my natural feelings I had, I was not groomed into becoming gay or any older man fondling my parts and playing unto my curiosity or ignorance as is postured by anti gay religious and homophobic figures who like to claim so protection of the vulnerable imperative. Paedophilia and homosexuality are NOT one in the same and in fact the sexual orientation of a paedophile is immaterial as any adult that is sexual attracted to a child has a diagnosable disorder that can be addressed over time by psychological and pharmacological responses from the relevant experts the same cannot be said for homosexuality. We are born this way. It is not only LGBT body politic itself that has to come out on this but also allies and family members as well who have to speak in show of genuine support so as to make real tolerance evident.

Another such strong set of rebukes have been coming towards the anti gay religious establishment since their recent public agitation: (photo from June 23 march in Kingston's Heroes Circle)

Church's Priority Misplaced (Gleaner Letter)

Shame On Church - Clergyman Charges Christians to focus on real issues instead

and my posts: The False Dichotomy of the religious right .................. and Scenes from anti gay Lovemarch at Heroes Circle

Peace and tolerance

H