Bisexual teen faced psychological prison, told not to tell anyone or else ..............

A seventeen year old teenager from St Andrew is the latest reported case of family ostracism that has come to my attention as more LGBT youth and adolescents find themselves on the frontline alone sometimes due to sheer ignorance by parents and urged by said elders siblings also participate willingly in making outcasts of their blood relatives. The young man who made contact with me via Facebook outlined his frustration in settling after the lengthy ordeal for some two and half years where he finally was told by his father to leave the only home he has known for all his life; although he has a neighbourhood female friend and of course other social ones as well his father according to the teen’s subsequent hand written report that I asked him to produce from which permission was granted to prepare this post outlining the details (less names of course) suspected he was gay and would occasionally make snide remarks.

The teen said at one point he responded to his father that if he did not see that he had a girlfriend and that she came by the house at times to which the elder would dismiss with a hmph and words to the effect “ ..... girlfriend nuh?” or girlfriend eh? Unbeknownst to the teen his immediate brother was actually set to monitor the youth’s movements and literally report to their father what he was about, so after school shenanigans or conversations and so on were watched and passed on, in one of the heated arguments the ostracised teen was surprised to learn that his father knew of a fight he was in at a bus stop one afternoon with another boy which surfaced in the cross talk several months after the fact which led him to suspect he was being informed on. While the young man’s mother was slightly more tolerant in a sense she too would warn him that if he was “battyman” he had to leave the house as she did not want that kind of nastiness around her.

Things came to a head however in September of 2013 when a male student who the teen was friendly with had met the ostracised teen first online then face to face and have been seeing each other for some time mostly away from the reporting brother but apparently other eyes were at work and word somehow got back to the brother, the teen had tried not to make this contact known to his younger informer sibling but the secret could not have been kept for long, the other party was said to be girly in a way and their meeting at a burger king store was told the father of the boy who confronted him of this other “battyboi” The ostracised teen’s neatness, order in his room and so called “prim and proper” ways were also made mention in the confrontation session where chastised the teen for being too “clean” implying that it is not a masculine trait for men to be so neat, the exchange grew in intensity according to the written report and a physical tussle ensued where the teen said he had to defend himself as his father lunged towards him with a frying pan to which he responded with the nearest thing he could find a large Jergens lotion bottle which he threw in retaliation, the matter continued where homo-negative curse words and warnings that if it was found out he was gay he would have to leave the house or change his ways in order to stay. Such are some the circumstances I have seen over the years which is sad for our young LGBTQ teens who have to exist under pain of some punishment be they psychological or physical abuse if not for some evidential reparative change.

Fast forward to March of this year where the straw that broke the camel’s back came in a fight between the teen and his prying brother to whom cordial relations had deteriorated in his bid to please his father while pressuring his bigger brother, the fight landed the ostracised teen facing an ultimatum among other things contained in the written report; since then he had reached out to other Facebook friends and so on prior to the forced eviction of sorts, he is able to return home at set times for clothing and so on in the absence of his father as his mother seems more sympathetic although she cannot speak to openly or outwardly. Such tense standoff can only last for a time and now he has found some community shelter assistance with an older influential thankfully and he has access to some finances from his mother who still gives the teen his pocket money not as often as before though when his father contributed to the amount.

This case is just one in a series of many that are sometimes hard to confirm but the reports are out there and the numbers of displaced youth climb all over the island, in my home parish of St Catherine there has been a spike in homo-negative cases and the numbers have gone up, just last month I was told of another matter where a male had to literally flee his home after some physical abuse, he is now with a friend for now; thank God for community shelter assistance I am all too aware of that informal avenue as my own shift way back in 1996 was interrupted and aided by such a phenomenon, good friends and caring people are hide to find but kindness matters out there despite the fallouts that can occur when such a helping hand is extended; my own drama in July of last year is picture proof where a young man I was offering assistance erred and I had to take strong action only after three days at my home and a strong sit down session explaining my expectations and house rules.

How else can the displaced youth be helped? When none state actors such as JFLAG, JAS do not want to directly addressed this longstanding matter yet they rejoice with a flowery promise by youth minister that homeless youth will be helped without questioning if the ministry will have as part of the response any reparative therapy interventions?

It has been clear for many years to some of us that corporatist typed NGOs who in public advocacy cry stigma and discrimination yet with all the clout they have simply refuse to do or implement the frontline response to homelessness. The Safe House Pilot 2009 is all the proof we need and the refusal way back in the day when the AIDS hospice became irrelevant given the changes in the cohort of infected persons’ suffering was greatly reduced as anti-retrovirals became more sophisticated hence persons living longer, it was repeatedly suggested by those in the know then that although the hospices were closing as they were also expensive to run; the displacement issues were also real then in the late nineties into 2000s yet all three spaces were subsequently closed; yet another easy way out was chosen instead of addressing the issue with some sort of residency response one of which was situated in the very area where the present homeless MSM/Transgender persons were at the shoemaker gully nearing the middle class Golden Triangle residency.

Is there really any interest in solving the homeless issues when everywhere else especially the US as of late under the President’s PEPFAR directive states are addressing their least populations. Something to think about.

also see:

Homeless MSM and rejection

Insensitive Parents and Displaced MSM Part III

Children’s Advocacy & LGBT Agencies inconsistent approach to Homeless MSM Youth

Kingston’s Homeless MSM challenges scream for proper attention

Outcomes when offering community based shelter for displaced gay/bi brethren

Youth Ministry to develop programmes to address LGBT youth, homeless, destitute and vulnerable children (2014)

Peace and tolerance

H

LGBTQ 101: A look at labels

LGBTQ 101

The following are Community labels. While they can and are frequently used as individual identity labels, not everyone in these communities uses these labels for personal identification. They are broad and general and not intended to describe people’s attractions in fine detail.

Straight: a person who is attracted to people of another (almost always constructed as a binary “other” or “opposite”) sex/gender.

Lesbian: a female-identified person who is attracted to other female-identified persons.

Gay: a person attracted to others of the same sex/gender. Frequently used to refer to male-identified persons, but can also be used to refer to someone of any sex/gender whose attraction is to the same sex/gender.

Bisexual: a person of any sex/gender who is attracted to people of the same and other sexes/genders. Non-monosexual.

Trans*gender: a person whose gender assigned at birth does not match their internal sense of self-gender. This includes people who identify as a binary gender, and people whose gender identity is not defined in a binary. Trans*gender people can identify as straight, gay, lesbian, or bisexual, as sexual orientation and gender identity/presentation are not the same.

Queer: anyone who does not identify as straight and/or cisgendered. This term was a slur that is being reclaimed as a positive since the mid-1980s.

ABB, or Anything But Bisexual: This refers to the multiple regional and slang terms that some non-monosexual people use for self-identification. These are personal identification terms that are used by people who also fit the general umbrella definition of being part of the bisexual community in order to have a more specific personal identity label, or to indicate a specific attitude regarding the political implications of gender.

I release this into the wild, anyone that wants to use it with attribution either under my legal name or through referral to this blog is welcome to do so.

Transgender Awareness Week: Taboo Yardies Screening in Kingston

As Transgender Awareness Week continues another activity that sought to raise awareness was conducted on November 16, 2013 in Kingston as arranged in conjunction with Aphrodite's P.R.I.D.E Jamaica: a transgender, lesbian and bisexual women's focused group that specializes in personal development and non advocacy LGBT matters with a view to developing the community in the populations. 

Taboo Yardies the documentary was screened as part of the thrust to raise Transgender awareness in the scheme of discussing LGBT issues with some focus on crisis reporting and this was a special edition as it was introduced to younger LGBTians who will in short order attend a series of workshops on self identity. 

Stake holders Quality Citizenship Jamaica co-founders Jalna Broderick and Angeline Jackson watched intently for the first time the film, both were featured in the production as well and contributed to the talk back session.

Selena Blake producer of the documentary Taboo Yardies who is Jamaican but resides in New York addresses persons who remained for the talk back section of the screening. It was animated discussion especially the response to Bruce Golding's section of the film which caused hisses in the room, see the clip of the former Prime Minister on his views on homosexuality in Jamaica.

Audience members on a short break at the venue as other speakers rose to present. Due to the limited capture policy I can show you shorts but the general gist of the activity for the day I hope is clear, the documentary was screened today in Montego Bay as well and Selena Blake departs for another screening date overseas.

The prep talk before the show

Transgender Jamaicans from the film covered their identity at the time of the filming in 2009/10

Members of the transgender community were also in attendance including co-chair of Aprohite's P.R.I.D.E Laura Garcia and yours truly as Community Outreach and Volunteer Co-ordinator and Miss Whitney (photo immediately above) one of the voices of the We are Jamaicans Campaign of JFLAG earlier this year, it was good to see her. 

Dwayne Jones' murder case that was featured in the documentary as a recent addition to the 2010 film was a major talking point as well during the talk back session as several concerns were raised as to how the matter was reported as a gay murder by the advocacies and advocates with international glitz like alarmist communication when the victim was transgender and to which some questioned the accuracy and honesty linked to crisis reporting and credibility of same in the thrust for rights and recognition. The visibility of the transgender community is becoming more pronounced which is good.

Also see the previous screening in Jamaica earlier this year in February: Highlights from Taboo Yardies Documentary screening in Jamaica

For a historical context from 2010 see the original release information here: 'Taboo Yardies' documentary to hit the streets in November

Peace and tolerance

H

Gay Cruising misunderstood .......

Dated I know is this report but someone asked if I could give my take on it, not that it matters as the Star news usually goes into silly season mode to sell papers and preying on the unsuspecting public's ignorance. Truth be told cruising could be as old as prostitution itself I dare say for as long as sex is for that matter, this is certainly not new and same gender loving and experimenting men worldwide have adopted their unique methods of the hunt in nabbing a one night stander or groupie for the more adventurous.

The headline itself is ridiculous as it implies men other than gay men are being targeted when we know that only other gay, bisexual or bi-curious males would respond and there are checks and balances. The tabloid obviously has nothing better to do in "investigating" the writings on the bathroom walls yet such practices also exist in what could be called heterosexual spaces such as strip clubs where numbers are left on the walls of the bathrooms or the changing rooms too having attended quite a few in a professional capacity in HIV prevention work, the Star does not go "investigatiing" those spaces though I wonder.

Have a read of the entry excerpted below and see what you make of it. 

THE STAR understands that some homosexual males are allegedly using the male bathrooms of a popular university to advertise sexual favours.

THE STAR carried out an investigation upon receiving the information and noticed on the walls of some of the campus' male bathrooms, an image of the male genital accompanied by a phone number and sentences outlining the different skills being offered.

One of the ads read, "I need a man, a good looking man. Call me at." While another stated, "For a good ... call this number'

When the news team called three of the numbers we were successful with one.

On answering the phone, the self-proclaimed gay man identified himself as David, after which he asked, "What size are you?"

After identifying ourselves, the man revealed to THE STAR that he has been advertising his 'wares' in male bathrooms for years, but has so far only performed his skills on one person at the university.

He also stated that a lot of persons have called him in recent times, but he never got the chance to meet them.

David told THE STAR that the reason he used the male bathrooms was, "I decided to do it because this is how I felt at the time."

He also attempted to ply his 'wares' to the male reporter, "So what height are you? Because I am good at what I do enuh!" he expressed.

David stated that he'll be removing the ads he posted soon, "When I have the time I'll try and go up to and wipe out my contact as I am busy these days, and don't have the time to meet much people anymore."

A final-year student at the university told THE STAR that he has seen a number of these ads in male bathrooms across the campus and stated his displeasure.

"I've seen them and I think they are malicious damage of school property, and it's probably done by persons who have a personal vendetta," he stated.

Bi/Pan/Non-mono: Attracted To More Than One Gender; Attracted To More Than One Identity

It’s known as the “Bi/Pan debate”. Since the start of the gay rights movement, bisexuals have been fighting both straight and gay communities for visibility and validation. That fight has turned inwardly in the past couple of decades with the emergence of pansexuality

.

Pansexual people may choose their identity over bisexuality to emphasize an attraction to those beyond the male/female gender binary.

But does this mean that bisexuals are exclusively attracted to male born masculine men and female born feminine women? No. On the surface, bi suggests an attraction to two genders: male and female. However, the binary that bisexual refers to is same (homo) and different (hetero).

Until recently, I thought the term pansexual was a copout. I thought of it as a way people could be honest about their bisexuality without being stigmatized by a word with so much negative connotation. I saw how the pansexual movement contributed to bi erasure by suggesting that the term was obsolete, and added to the stigma of being bisexual by suggesting bisexual attraction was exclusive to trans people. And it hasn’t stopped with Pansexual. There’s polysexual, multisexual, omnisexual, ambisexual, sapiosexual, fluid, and so on. The list of non-monosexual identities get’s longer all the time.

Because of this linguistic limbo, bisexuals are accused of being inherently cis-sexist in queer circles. Any bisexual activist will tell you how frustrating these accusations are, especially those in relationships with trans and genderqueer individuals.

People feel very strongly about the word ‘bisexual’. Some people have been fighting for it their whole lives, and other people see it as a complete joke. I am one of the few men I know personally who embrace the term, and that in itself is an isolating experience.

The bisexual community has adopted a definition that makes bisexual the umbrella term for all non-monosexual identities. Bisexuality is simply defined (by bisexuals) as attraction to more than one gender. All groups of people have the right to define themselves, and outsiders will always try to impose their own definitions. In the end, it is the community itself who has final say on what it is.

I would like to go one step further and suggest that bisexuality is attraction to more than one identity. While bisexual is it’s own unique orientation, it does include elements of both ‘gay’ and ‘straight’. It attempts to serve as an umbrella term for all identities that are neither gay or straight, and by that very nature it is not exclusive to any single one identity.

I recently met a wonderful pansexual identified girl. We got into the most extensive debate about bi vs pan I have ever had. I told her that what I disliked most about the word ‘pansexual’ was having to explain what it is to people who had never heard the term before. She told me that it was her favorite part! If she tells someone that she’s pansexual and they ask what that it means, that’s her invitation to educate people about the complexities of gender and sexuality. It was humbling to recognize that this was something I disliked about my own identity. Often when I tell people I am bisexual, the conversation ends right then and there. After explaining to her in great detail why I resonate with the term bisexual, she asked me “So, do you identify as queer?”

And that’s when it hit me. Even pansexual people see bisexuals as some watered down version of queer. Part queer or half queer or temporarily queer.

Guess what? Bisexuals are as queer as it gets.

Bisexuals are not only queer to straight people, they are also queer to gay people. They are queer whether they are in a same sex relationship or a different sex relationship. Bisexuals are queer when they are single or married or divorced or dead. Bisexuals are so queer that it may seem impossible for them to find each other outside of the internet. Bisexuals are queer, even when they spend their whole lives trying to be straight (or gay), which more than half of them do.

Somebody recently asked me what the difference between gay/lesbian and queer was. I told them that queer doesn’t stop at gay and lesbian. Queer is a term that represents everyone who’s gender and sexual variation has outcasted them. Queer is bi or pan, transgender, intersex, asexual, and so on. Queer encompasses everyone who differs from the norm.

A bisexual activist once told me that I shouldn’t identify as queer. I should identify as bisexual every time because the more I assert my bisexual identity specifically, the more it will be accepted.

I view that as separatism, and I reject it.

I am a queer bisexual. Some say that I am gay because I am a man who has sex with men, and that’s fine with me. I might be perceived as pansexual because I kissed a beautiful trans man last month and I am also OK with that. I sometimes feel genderqueer because I have both masculine and feminine attributes. I’m not sure if I believe that monogamy is right for me, so I guess that makes me poly-curious.

My point is this: If bisexuals want to be the umbrella term that we claim to be, we must embrace every identity choice, even if we think it contradicts our own. There are pansexual identified people who are in relationships with cisgendered people and there are bisexual identified people who are in relationships with trans people, and it isn’t anyones right to re-identify those people.

All non-monosexual people are part of the same community, and the fractioning of that community because of difference in identity is a travesty. The definitions of the various non-monosexual identities have more overlapping similarities than they do unreconcilable differences, and it should be celebrated that we have so many different ways of expressing our complexities.

It’s time that bi and pan people recognize that we are equally queer. And just because being queer makes us different from others, doesn’t mean that we’re all that different from each other.

Cameron Kude is a bisexual community advocate, aspiring filmmaker, and non-fiction writer. He has lived as a total cliché in Portland, Oregon since 2011. He can be reached at c.cameronkude@gmail.com

Bisexuality Visibility Day: Bi-phobia/Bi-erasure by default continues?

Unfortunately the answer is yes until some revolutionary changes comes, I cannot believe that an audio post I had done in 2011 is still relevant in today's world although the agitation in Jamaica has been stepped up so much yet as the call letters LGBT roll conveniently off the tongues of spokespersons we still see bi- erasure and indeed lesbian erasure as well taking place. Why have the groups listed in the name of rights and recognition yet they have to be screaming for attention?

No real assistance has been even allotted to specific groups to form themselves so as to fill in the gaps where needed they are only included gratuitously when relevant to sound good but screw them otherwise.



also see: Biphobia in the L & G communities maybe higher than thought from 2011.

As today is seen in some parts of the world as Bisexuality Day I want to recognise my bisexual friends and readers as well while highlighting some of the challenges they face here in Jamaica chief among them then are viewed as "carriers" of HIV and are often described negatively as the bridge between the homosexual and heterosexual populations. While there is some truth to it that cannot be all that end up becoming hence the biphobia especially from the lesbian community.

Celebrate Bisexuality Day is observed on September 23 maybe 24th as it falls on a Sunday by members of the bisexual community and their supporters originally in the United States but has been extended worldwide.

This day is a call for bisexual, pansexual, friends and supporters to recognize and celebrate bisexuality,bisexual history, bisexual community and culture, and the bi/pansexual people in their lives.
First observed in 1999, Celebrate Bisexuality Day is the brainchild of three United States bisexual rights activists: Wendy Curry of Maine, Michael Page of Florida, and Gigi Raven Wilbur of Texas.

Wilbur said,

“Ever since the Stonewall rebellion, the gay and lesbian community has grown in strength and visibility. The bisexual community also has grown in strength but in many ways we are still invisible. I too have been conditioned by society to automatically label a couple walking hand in hand as either straight or gay, depending upon the perceived gender of each person.”

This celebration of bisexuality in particular, as opposed to general LGBT events, was conceived as a response to the prejudice and marginalization of the bisexual persons by some in both the straight and greater LGBT communities.

In its first year, an observance was held during the International Lesbian and Gay Association, which occurred during the week of the 23rd. While at first it only took hold in areas with an extremely strong bisexual presence, it is now celebrated worldwide.

It features event such as discussions, dinner parties and dances in Toronto and a large masquerade ball in Queensland, Australia. At Texas A&M University, the week featured discussion panels and question-and-answer sessions. Princeton University celebrates this day each year by throwing a party at its LGBT Center.

It has also been celebrated in Germany, Japan, New Zealand, Sweden and the United Kingdom.

In its most extreme form, bisexual erasure can include denying that bisexuality exists. Inclusiveness is the name of the game now if we are to get anywhere but with the elitist position taken by the group one wonders when will we begin to move on anything? with recent ugly events further darkening our LGBT history that of aloofness towards the homeless msm population more and more persons in and outside the LGBT community are asking what are the reasons for these organizations.

It is refreshing to see other individual voices saying their piece and going out on their own, I would love to see an all out Jamaican bisexual website or at the very least a couple of blogs related to bisexual issues exclusively. There has been some discourse regarding bisexuality but the backlash from the MSM and same gender loving, SGL female communities suggests we have a far way to go towards inclusiveness and tolerance, ways that are to be facilitated by a JFLAG or similar groups.

Let us hope in the near future something can be done about that either by them despite the insulation or some other group, organization or individuals. Meanwhile a newly formed two year old group intends to work with this section of the community in short order as they will launch their programs on engaging groups to lift their identities and self worth, looking forward to seeing and covering more positive developments in this department.

Peace and tolerance

H

Bisexuality Pride Day Event list worldwide

Below are #BiPrideDay events happening in the U.S. and the World! 

If we missed your event please post below so we can include it in our posts, tweets and emails!

U.S.

Atlanta, Georgia
A Bi Visibility Day celebration will be held in Atlanta from 7-9pm at the Philip Rush Center on Saturday, September 21st from 7-9pm. More info here.

Boston
The Bisexual Resource Center have a celebration on Fri, September 27, 7pm – 10pm at the Lir Pub this year on Boylston Street. They will be handing out Unsung Hero and Bi Ally awards and filling you in on the exciting bi achievements of 2013. Suggested donation of $5 at the door. More info here.

Chicago
Celebrate Bisexuality Day with Bisexual & Queer Alliance of Chicago at Center on Halstead. Speaker: Wendy Curry; Q&A. Monday 23 September 2013, 7pm-9pm. More info here.

Los Angeles
The Los Angeles Bi Task Force hosts "The Bi Chill: 2013 Bi Arts Fest and Social" from 1:00 PM to 5:00 PM on Sunday, September 22nd at The Village at Ed Gould Plaza. $10.00 recommended donation. More info here.

San Francisco
Monday, September 23rd 6pm-10pm. Celebrate Bisexuality Day Event. Gather on the Back Patio @ El Rio in San Francisco, CA. Free before 9pm, $1 cover after. More info here.

St Paul, MN
Monday 23rd September 7pm – 930pm. The Bisexual Organizing Project celebrates our annual Bi Day event with free pizza and soft drinks!
Special this year is the Community Recognition Awards...Come see who gets the shiny plaque this year! More info here.

Washington D.C.
Washington DC’s first official “Bi Pride Day”. The D.C. Mayor's office will deliver a special proclamation for the city’s “Celebrate Bisexuality Day” at a gathering on Monday, September 23, 2013 with a panel discussion to follow. More info here.

INTERNATIONALLY
Dublin, IrelandMonday 23 September, 6pm: Bi Irish Dublin / BiVisible Ireland event at the Outhouse. More info here.

Paris, FranceSeptember 23 Bi’Cause will host a panel debate at the Centre LGBT Paris-Île-de-France is: 61-63 rue. More info here.

Tel-Aviv, Israel
This year sees the first Bi Pride event in Tel-Aviv Israel, on Monday September 23, called המעגל הביסקסואלי (which translates to English as The Bi Circle). More info here.

Brighton, UK
Monday 23 September: bis and allies get-together over ice-cream. Details soon onhttp://september23.bi.org/.

London
Monday 23 September: event for over-50s bis at Tavis House, 1-6 Tavistock Square, 2pm-7pm and Penderel’s Oak, 283-288 High Holborn 6pm-9pm. Contact: Kate Hancock onkate.hancock@ageukcamden.org.uk
Saturday 28 September: BiFete – 2pm-8pm at Brixton Community Base, £3 entry – details here.

Manchester, UK
Sunday 22 September: BiPhoria will be hosting a social afternoon for Bi Visibility Day at the LGF centre, Richmond Street. With local bi organising history talk, poster displays, food & drink and more. 2pm-5pm.

Sunday 22 September: BiPhoria pub quiz and social meet-up, 5.30pm into the evening. Quiz starts 6pm. Downstairs function room, Taurus, 1 Canal Street.

Monday 23 September: evening event hosted by the Co-Operative, with speakers from Bi Community News, BiUK & more. Details and online booking form here.

Sheffield, UK
Monday 23 September: event details to be confirmed.
Details soon on http://september23.bi.org

Southampton, UK
Southampton Solent University will have a display about bisexuality in the Mountbatten Library from 23-30 September 2013, organised by the LGBT Staff Network, from 23rd – 30th.


Swansea,Wales
Monday 23 September: 2pm-5pm Have Your Say event, Committee Room 1, Civic Centre.Facebook has details here.

Victoria, Australia
Join Bi Alliance for the Celebrate Bisexuality Day dinner, Monday 23 September from 7pm


Special thanks to the International Bi Visibility Day website for compiling so many of the community events. Check out their site for the latest on events around the globe!http://september23.bi.org/

Not Separate But Not Equal? Bisexuality Explained (At Least 13 Times)

Demonized, ostracized, unrecognized, and sexualized…what gives? Though the “bi” in “bisexual” brings to mind either/or dualities, true-to-life bi experience is entirely unique.

Every year, Bi Visibility Day is observed on September 23. (http://september23.bi.org). Still, when it comes to bi visibility and/or invisibility, myths and misconceptions abound.

Dr. J.R. Little has identified 13 prevailing types of bisexuality. On the face of it, these discoveries seek to classify bi experience as seen through a control group study. At the very least, this reveals the fluidity of sexuality in general. Predominant bisexual traits Dr. Little found are the following:

1. Alternating: May be with a man, then after a relationship ends, may choose a female partner for a subsequent relationship, continuing to alternate.

2. Circumstantial: Primarily heterosexual, but will choose same sex partners only if they have no access to other-sex partners, like in gender-segregated circumstances.

3. Concurrent Relationships: Have primary relationship with one gender only, but other casual or secondary relationships with people of another gender concurrently.

4. Conditional: Either straight or gay/lesbian, but switches to a relationship with another gender for a specific purpose, like young straight males who prostitute with men for money or lesbians who marry men for social acceptance, or to have children.

5. Emotional: Have intimate emotional relationships with men and women, but only have sexual relationships with one gender.

6. Integrated: Have more than one primary relationship at the same time, one with a man and one with a woman.

7. Exploratory: Either straight or gay/lesbian, but have sex with another gender just to satisfy curiosity or “see what it’s like.” (Bi-curious.)

8. Hedonistic: Primarily straight or gay/lesbian but will sometimes have recreational sex with a different gender purely for sex.

9. Recreational: Primarily heterosexual, but engage in gay or lesbian sex only when under the influence of substances. (Party-sexual.)

10. Isolated: 100% straight or gay/lesbian now but has had at one or more sexual experience with another gender in the past.

11. Latent: Completely straight or gay lesbian in behavior, but has strong desire for sex with another gender (having never acted on it).

12. Motivational: Example – straight women who have sex with other women to please their male partner who requests it for his own arousal.

13. Transitional: Temporarily identify as bisexual while in the process of moving from being straight to being gay or lesbian, or going from being gay or lesbian to being heterosexual.

No matter what your orientation is, sexual discovery is a process. Whether or not you agree with Dr. Little—or bisexuality in general—if you seek to understand bisexuality, do your best to meet bi folks where they are, without trying to marginalize them or inflict a sense of “wrongness” on them for having their own experience.

More snags for the cruising community in 2013

Disclaimer: I have no formal psychological training but have been interested by the outdoor sex phenomenon for some decades now as applicable to Jamaican MSM experiences. I also decided to drop this one here as entries of this nature would be seen on Gay Jamaica Watch but due to the urgent legal matters that are at hand GJW will be hosting those posts only for now. 

This entry is not about the typical standing on or walking by a street corner or plaza in some city centre and employing ones gaydar to catch poon tangs that is easy and comes natural for some of us but this is about the masculine grizzly targeted thug hunting experience in a specific geographical zone complete with musk, grit, grime, industrial wasteland or green spaces (green grass hotel), sweat, pheromones, no deep emotions, non feminized elements and importantly un-attachment for that quick release of virulent pent up sexual desire in the end however short the time of contact. Some time ago when I last looked at sections of the outdoor cruising communities and sub groups under the MSM umbrella I noticed that some members were bitterly complaining that their haunting grounds were overtaken by the preponderance of homeless or displaced MSM who do not necessarily cruise in this specific sense especially from the New Kingston and Seymour Lands areas and beyond to the outskirts of Old Hope Roads when the homeless groups occupied illegally lands and houses but have since been removed by the local authorities namely the parish council with the aid of the police. Also see: Robbers target male hookers

The Jamaica Observer Clovis cartoon depiction of the problematic homeless MSM scenario relocated to the Barbican area, the online version from their website was removed following some complaints but I managed to get it scanned from my hardcopy edition of May 31, 2013, the paper has been in love hate relationship sorts ever since their first coverage of the matter when the men launched an attack at the former JASL/JFLAG offices August 23/4, 2011: MORE HERE and HERE

The migration pattern of that group has since gone northwards to Barbican as their options become less after the eviction of Jamaica AIDS Support, JAS and their LGBT offshoot Jamaica Forum for Lesbians Allsexuals and Gays, JFLAG from 4 Upper Musgrave Avenue (actually an old cruising haunt for MSM and female commercial sex work spot in the early nineties when previously unoccupied) newer populations still congregate in New Kingston proper. 

The men now located at a house in the Millsborough area for now as the caretaker there has insisted that they have to leave as the situation has become untenable the proper response to that issue is still forthcoming from the relevant agencies. With the migratory pattern occurring that has not helped any the comfort somewhat of the cruisers who before when the homeless MSM were far less in numbers and more docile coexisted peacefully often overlapping as commercial sexual arrangements would sometimes result if the cruisers were not making any headway for sexual pleasure via their modus operandi. 

Now it seems the bemoaning the loss of “space” continues as they are still limited to a certain quadrant in the New Kingston area added to that the other zones are limited or have since become unworkable as recent public incidents have impacted their usage and safety. Case in point is a matter of two alleged partnered masturbators who were caught in the act some three weeks ago in downtown proper at an old haunt for generations by a man who eventually called attention to the issue, the men one allegedly a handcart operator made good their escape however but not afterwards the authorities were somehow notified and the area bushed, rubble removed and cleared so as to avoid any further “batty business” thugs were apparently ordered to or hired to watch the area for now.

That particular spot down-town and other older ruins have had incidents prior and as posted here as well but it seems to always been able to recover despite major physical changes made to it and has been used for generations of cruisers as a haunt, heterosexuals also use the area for the occasional sexual encounters and a few female commercial sex workers/substance users also operate in the area by day, they were aware of the shenanigans that took place there but it is a symbiotic relationship it seems according to my cruiser source, the men are not a threat to their business since the cruisers would stay clear when met with such hetero circumstances and vice versa. 

The groups would also exchange information and safer sex implements when available among other socializations. The old industrial factory space seems to be an irresistible attraction for men whether on the down low  cruisers or commercial sex workers as the masculinity of the environment seems to be the draw card. In speaking to one of the senior more experiences cruisers who has assisted me before in examining this issue of cruising in Kingston he said that the place just has a thing to it that he has to go to see if any men are there and according to him there is often time someone there, if not a new face then some regular. What is the draw card to me especially for far younger users or cruisers is puzzling, how do they know instinctively that that spot is for sexual connections (usually non penetrative or outer-coursal activity) is baffling, gaydar perhaps? The physical outlay of the area seems a major qualification for such a pull of these persons and subsequent sexual activity I can recall some years ago an old rice factory in Spanish Town as well (now turned the JUTC bus park) that attracted men from all over I took particular interest in the phenomenon then as it became a sight for my HIV outreach work with men who have sex with men and it was there I realized we were dealing with a totally different set of variables and practices not covered by the HIV response at all. Often times these are men with normalised lives, girlfriends, “babymothers,” even wives or just homo curious recluse who use unusual short impact sexual contact as release it seems so as to avoid too much personal contact and invasion of their psychological space. The impersonal nature of the contact, no possibility of emotional traces, the intense physical satisfaction and thrill of the hunt in doing it in public but not getting caught are also factors that I have come to understand, a kind of utilitarianism. This is of course outside of persons who do not have the convenience at their place of residence for open consensual same sex intimacy.

I will admit I too have passed through the area in Kingston for a haunt or two but it is not really my cup of tea but one thing is clear all kinds of characters are there surprisingly, some even look like your typical homophobe if seen in another setting and these are not the same populations of men one as experienced as I am see in the LGBT social scene nor in other so called cruising zones as well. This leads me to think that there are many other males though not self identifying as homosexual who prefer this kind of urban discreet rugged outdoor contact for that quickie as a release. I prefer to approach thug types in their own spaces as I have developed my skills at reading them and know the ones to avoid or to approach even when they are homo-curious or bisexual. Anal penetrative sex is not usually the chosen type of contact in outdoor spaces such as this I learnt over the years during my HIV outreach work as safety and ease of escape if discovered is crucial so less tedious activity is chosen that won’t involve removal of clothing that may impede such escape if found or caught by an unsuspecting person who may use the area to also to urinate or defecate. 

They tend to go for partnered masturbation or solo masturbation while watching another male either masturbate also unbeknownst to them being seen or if another should urinate the proverbial glory hole type voyeurism but in an outdoor scenario. Oral/anal activity may occur such as rimming if convenient my cruiser friend advised me that he often heard of some men carrying a bottle of water on their persons for a quick enema which is not surprising as many male commercial sex workers do so as well to make themselves presentable to their clients, sadly the HIV response locally is yet to move progressively to make fleet and other such types of implements available and indeed engage these sub groups under the MSM label.

Scatting and such practices do not factor here in Jamaica although the site as indicated earlier is used as a bathroom since the public restrooms charge for usage so persons avoid them.

Exhibitionists also pass through occasionally according to my trusted senior cruiser friend (who also still wants me and him to hookup) but they come few in between for open masturbation usually alone but more so after a shower or rain when less passers-by are around but enough persons to give them the drive to publicly masturbate seeing that is their urge and incessant need sexually speaking. The two aforementioned partnered masturbators were said to be frequent pass-throughs and my cruiser contact seems still concerned of how they got caught, he even speculates that maybe another would be cruiser may have been upset at the two pairing and not himself being a partner to the act.

In early 2011 that entire section in downtown was bulldozed I can recall under the then Jamaica Labour Party JLP administration when a certain mayoral candidate was around as the area falls in the constituency of that party and some years prior to that a nude handcart man was found dead in the vicinity the cause of death was not clear but a newspaper report suggested he was raped as tests revealed anal trauma. The once vibrant Emancipation Park area in New Kingston that was also a haunt prior to its construction and which attracted persons even after it became a public thoroughfare seems to have lost its fervour. Vendors, police patrols and car parking have since crowded the spot and the occasional exhibitionist as well are not so prevalent any more as an amusement park sits across the street attracting many children, exhibitionist have a particular aversion to carrying out there act in front of children which also is another mystery to me psychologically speaking although it makes some sense as they are not paedophiles so prepubescent persons would not fit their intended profile for near public erotic exposure.

Some questions come to mind some of which I have asked before I believe;

What would attract this set of MSM to these outdoor spots?

Why do they not also social on the main LGBTQ scenes?

Outdoor sex implies an element of danger hence the attractiveness of it?

Why is effeminacy not a prominent trait in this group of MSM?

Is hyper-masculinity or forced masculinization (including aesthetics) a means of protection in these outdoor spaces to avoid profiling or suspicion?

Another incident that came to hand was in western Jamaica by a certain beach front stretch this time however penetrative sex was involved both persons just barely escaped the doom as men swooped down on the unsuspecting couple who were allegedly in high ecstasy while making love. While not a direct cruising matter it was only this month I posted on GLBTQJA of a male couple in St Catherine who had to flee their community after being caught in the act by the grandmother of one who arrived unannounced. Such are the challenges that sometimes cause persons to seek alternate outdoor secret arrangements to compensate for lack of space apart from the other attractive reasons relative to the individuals involved. In that same post I also examined a previous incident in the same parish by a man made water course where a partnered-masturbating male couple were caught and the police also got involved to literally save them from a thrashing from an angry mob that converged after the men swam to safety and retreated in bushes on the opposite side of the canal.

Such are the risks with hook-ups and outdoor cruising but with all those issues persons still seem drawn to the practice/phenomenon I guess an old English adage the closer you are to danger the further you are from harm has some resonance in this somewhere as who would often suspect raunchy illicit sex in open spaces quite unexpectedly? After all female commercial sex workers also use this form of hiding right under your nose ideology too, many of them do engage clients in car parks and inside motor vehicle unbeknownst to passers-by as one would never suspect that activity to close by. Parts of Central Park in New York comes to mind despite police patrols and a vagrancy law I believe but men hook up none the less, France for example has red zones where outdoor sex is allowed undisturbed be it homosexual or heterosexual and the infamous bathroom glory hole cruising is a special feature of French gay male culture. Many Jamaicans who go or now live there have told me the erotic stories. Amsterdam is noted for these zones as well married with open substance use as well whether Jamaica will ever get to this kind of progressive thinking is left to be seen seeing that policing homosexuality is still a major priority in the face of the disease control, The religious/biblical fundamentalist anti-homosexuality imperative; protecting vulnerable youth from homosexuality, as conflated with paedophilia; the imperative of the ‘unnaturalness’ of homosexuality and the imperative of the purity and authenticity of a primordially homosexuality-free global African culture all of which drive our entrenched or hardened positions towards male homosexuality in particular. If we can’t even get passed just making same sex intimacy private for consenting adults on the face of a “keep it to yourself” public sentiments then how are we going to allow some unconventional personal freedoms (though not impeding others) in public spaces?

Sex; we seek it, we enjoy it how some go about it may be unconventional at least bizarre at best but it’s the human condition I guess, after all if we did not have buildings to contend with we may have all been doing it in the bushes.

Peace and tolerance

H

also see: 

Cruising community challenges continue  2011

Some cruising challenges .......... 2011

Doing 'business' in New Kingston ...

The Cruising community’s dilemma .....

Fame FM's "Uncensored" on Piercings, Men fighting ...

Thugs caught lovemaking forced to flee for their lives 2013

Down low gone mad, Biphobia, or Sexual Abuse?

Tell Me Pastor: Struggling with homosexuality ..............

The Star News feature "Tell Me Pastor" carried this piece below and though I am not a psychologist the letter seems a little off to me but read and see what you make of it, on my other blogs I have long been suspicious of some of these letters too and their authenticity as sometimes they border on sensational. The young man here says he was sexually abused as a boy and that indeed is sad and shocking but what followed has been a rollercoaster ride it seems the pastor's rebuke however is disturbing to me. Read ...............

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you for your help. I am a male who has never had a happy moment in my life from I was 11. I was sexually abused by a good friend of my family from St Catherine. At that time, I did not understand that if anyone was caught in the act of homosexuality, he would be beaten to death. This happened in the late 1980s. I got to like it so I used to visit the man's house often. It went on for several years because I didn't know homosexuality was wrong. I was innocent to everything around me. This man has messed up my life because homosexuality still affects my life today.

Over the years, I have been with several other men and have also gone to different counsellors but the problem is still starring me in the face. I became a Christian in 1993 but I am still struggling with this situation. I have prayed and fasted for these homosexual feelings to go away, but it has not helped.

In 2001, I met a man. He treated me well and took me to rural Jamaica. He was loving and caring and we became lovers. He told me he had homosexual fantasies, then I decided to stop having sex with him and to change my lifestyle. I stopped calling him and texting him but he continued to text me with sweet words. I prayed to God for a change and was getting there, but because I am weak towards him, I fell back into the devil's track. Sometimes I wonder where is God in my situation. I never thought I would be so unhappy.

One night in the early 90s, at a big tent at a crusade, the preacher called me to the altar and told me someone has tied me down in a bottle. I want to go back to school and start my own business, but I cannot because of lack of funds.

One day I went to Emancipation Park to clear my mind and my phone rang. It was one of my lovers. He was in the presence of some girls. He was touching me up and had an erection. This man was also having sex with one of the girls. I am wondering where God is in my situation.

One day I went to his house and we got into a fight in his van and I dropped out. I have tried many times to break up with this man and we are still having sexual intercourse without condoms. We have done freaky things. His girlfriend doesn't believe we are doing these things. He is bisexual. I know I have done many bad things to him and I am asking him for his forgiveness. His girlfriend told me disgraceful things that I should do to her.

This man has helped me and is very kind to me. I asked him to give me $10,000 and he wants to know if I will pay him back in sex. I am still attending church but Ifeel condemned. Friends have turned their backs on me, but I want to thank God because He has never left me. I am 34 and cannot break free from this disease for more than 23 years now. I have had deep depression and suicidal thoughts. My own brother told me I am dunce and worthless. Please, help me.

R.B.

Pastor responds:

Dear R.B.,

I regret hearing that an adult male, who was a family friend, introduced homosexual practices to you. Unfortunately, you didn't report him and kept going to his house. As you grew up, you became a practising homosexual. That is why most psychologists say homosexuality is something learned. I do not mean to imply this is true in every case.

You felt your sexual partners treated you well and found it difficult to walk away from them. Even after you decided to change, it wasn't for long. You have written a detailed letter and have mentioned the names of individuals. As you can see, I have deleted many of the things that you have said. They are not publishable. Your motive is not just to seek help, but to expose certain individuals with whom you have had affairs.

You claim in the letter that you are a very jealous man. So while you give the impression that you are seeking help, you are really looking for revenge. You are still very much in love with a particular man whose name you have mentioned many times in your letter. I do believe you are carrying a heavy burden and believe in the nonsense that the preacher told you at the crusade meeting that someone has tied you down in a bottle.

I would like to suggest you make an appointment to see a Christian psychologist and ask him/her to help you. If you continue to believe hope is lost and someone, not you, are responsible for your behavior, you will never experience deliverance.

Yes, you were abused as a child. When you became an adult, you knew better and should not blame others for the wrong things you have done. You are responsible for your actions. Nobody has put you in a bottle. The preacher who told you that is wrong and has contributed to messing up your mind.

Pastor

ENDS

In my continued look at this for the pastor Aaron Dumas who is a psychologist and also hosts a program on Power 106fFM at nights to scold the man where he said "Yes, you were abused as a child. When you became an adult, you knew better and should not blame others for the wrong things you have done. You are responsible for your actions. Nobody has put you in a bottle. The preacher who told you that is wrong and has contributed to messing up your mind." I am baffled at this response if abuse was the origin of his struggle taking into account the power differentials that may have existed (going by the letter) between the youth at the time and this adult perpetrator then how in adult life the writer could simply come to some realization without any professional help mentioned in the piece? In power differentials the victim sometimes does not have the opportunity to say no or tell someone else especially a child (going by the letter) he may run into a backlash as other circumstances may have been present to block seeking that kind of redress. It takes years sometimes never for persons to come forward or get comfortable to even talk about the issues involved or to rehash the abuse. Now that he has come forward this is the response from Pastor Dumas? To simply indirectly dismiss the man and he is to supposed change or come to some realization by his own recognizance is unprofessional to me and smacks as a kind of dismissal of this case yet he had no qualms to suggest a christian psychologist imputing a reparative therapy course.

The need for more forensic psychiatry or psychology is clear here too as we must now begin to understand the perpetrator's profiles as well in a bid to address situations like this, we have seen and heard from the Child Development Agency, CDA express this concern as well. The training of staff as well to help children express where abuse may be present. 

Indeed inappropriate initiation is a problem overall but how to properly address these cases on the part of the victim is called into question here via this case especially when the professional handling such a matter is using a Judaeo Christian base given the Diagnostic Statistical Manuals course in categorizing deviant diagnosable behaviour. I am sorry I was not near this individual (if he is real) as I would have suggested a book by a Jamaican man who was abused as well and who documented his travel to recovery:

"The Cries of Men" tell the candid and true personal accounts of rape and sexual abuse from the voices of young Jamaican men."The Cries of Men" shares the candid and true personal account of rape and sexual abuse from the voices of young Jamaican men. By providing an in-depth look into their secret lives, author O'Brien Dennis demonstrates how one act of sexual violence can have a devastating effect on adult survivors.

"The Cries of Men" takes a virgin journey of homophobia in the realm of Jamaica's social fabric. Dennis reveals the powerful and intriguing stories of Jamaican male sexual abuse survivors, but also divulges unknown facts about Jamaican society- including the concept that homosexuality is an evil act, punishable by imprisonment of up to ten years of hard labor. Yet each week in Jamaica, there are over fifteen reported cases of sexual abuse of young men and boys, many more cases go unreported because men fear for their lives if they disclose the abuse. Dennis also provides a list of resources to assist in recovering from sexual abuse.

Quality of Citizenship Jamaica (QCJ) launches LBWSW Needs Survey

Quality of Citizenship Jamaica (QCJ) was founded on January 22, 2013. QCJ came out of the need for an organisation specifically working on issues surrounding lesbian, bisexual and other women who have sex with women. To that end they are seeking to assess what the needs of the LB, WSW population are through this survey. 

The information collected in this survey is blind, i.e. we will not know who is completing the survey, unless you so chose to share your personal information within the survey.

You can learn more about the organisation by visiting www.qcjm.org or http://qcjm.org/womyn-needs-survey/

Earlier this year in a post on my sister blog GLBTQ Jamaica I sought to introduce in essence the group as founded by a two woman team who like many of us have become frustrated with the limp wristed advocacy and outright invisibility at times for same gender loving women in particular and the step-n-fetchit one overall with regards to several community challenges, chief among them homelessness with more than enough evidence to substantiate.

see: Another LGBT Group launches with a mature lesbian focus ...........................

Angeline Jackson QCJ co-founder is a lesbian activist in Jamaica, one of 76 countries around the world where being gay is illegal. Last summer, she attended the Spirit of 76 meeting in Washington, D.C., where she came away inspired to do more for the LGBT community back home.

Jackson returned to Jamaica and founded Quality of Citizenship Jamaica (QCJ), which “recognizes that the concept of citizenship cannot be subjected to personal biases.”

Angeline Jackson speaks with SDGLN Contributor the Rev. Canon Albert Ogle about LGBT rights in Jamaica, what life is like for LGBT Jamaicans, and her vision for Quality of Citizenship Jamaica. She represents the next generation of LGBT activists in countries where life is dangerous for sexual minorities. (click link above)

An unscientific look at as well by the QCJ also revealed many women have experienced some sort of sexual violence related to their sexual orientation perceived or real by their abusers/attackers. 

Lesbian/Bi women issues need attention

Corrective rape cases for example rose substantially in 2009 and since then several reports have surfaced on the continued crime against same gender loving women with the last one said to have occured in November 2012. There are three SGL women who are also reported missing with one from as early as September 22, 2012 and who is feared dead but with no corpse or any trace of her family and friends are distraught as their inability to bring some closure to the prolonged episode is proving worrisome. 

flashback from 2011 CLICK HERE for a post on a serial rapist who was cut down and who was alleged to be linked to several attacks involving SGL women. Also in 2010 another alleged leader got 29 in prison CLICK HERE

Forced evictions have also been reported with two major ones in Portmore in 2012

In April we had a robbery of a lesbian couple in the Liguanea area as they entered their flat by car, thankfully both were spared the death threat but were relived of cash and phones, both ladies have been contemplating remaining in Jamaica as fear grips them and to think this is in an upscale area not a ghetto or crime ridden part of the capital.

Other groups such as WomenforWomen (formerly Lesbians in Action, LIA) seem to have gone dead despite a representative sitting on the JFLAG management team the usual Friday night socials and discussion activity have stopped completely thus not allowing the usual venting and sharing of ideas and plans for the way forward. Several lesbian focused groups on Facebook only tap into the issues if ever so slightly and are dependent on membership's willingness to participate. The rates of attrition and reticence is also causing some concern for some administrators of FB LGBT groups overall while some advocates turn those same groups into self promoting avenues more so than sharing and discussion of ideas for the communities on a whole to move forward.

Aphrodite's Pride another lesbian focused entity with transgender awareness as well conducted a series of mentoring workshops in 2012 but financial challenges have slowed their work somewhat.

Concerns for increased lesbophobic scenarios

Several of us close to some of the issues on the ground have been concerned about the steady rise in lesbophobic typed atrocities more so on butch identified women also known as "Man royal" in colloquial terms I do wish this group all the best in their endeavours and stand ready to assist where possible, we need to move on certain social justice issues as well it is not all about just repealing buggery that affects MSM and an advocacy structure with just male dominated thinking.

Peace and tolerance

H